The phrase “What’s in a name?” originates from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet: “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” While Shakespeare’s words suggest that a name doesn’t define the essence of something, in reality, names often become an integral part of our identity.
From birth, our parents choose a name for us, and it becomes how the world recognizes us. We all have a connection to our names—they’re a part of who we are. When someone calls us by name, we respond instinctively. If it’s misspelled or mispronounced, we tend to correct it, ensuring it’s remembered accurately. When a loved one uses our name, it feels personal, even comforting—almost like music to our ears. Simply put, our names matter to us.
For many women, marriage brings a significant change to their name, particularly their surname. While some embrace this change, others may find it challenging. Increasingly, women choose to retain their maiden surname or add their husband’s surname alongside it, striking a balance that feels fair. However, in some families, the changes go beyond the surname—sometimes even the first name is altered.
In such cases, a woman might be given a completely new name, often starting with the same letter as her husband’s name or chosen based on what the family deems appropriate. Strangely, the husband is rarely the one deciding the name—it’s often a family decision. The woman, whether she likes it or not, is expected to accept her new name and adapt to being addressed by it.
This can feel jarring, as her original name—the one her family, friends, and acquaintances have known her by for years—suddenly disappears. While some women embrace this change willingly, others may feel they have little choice. In some cases, the new name exists solely for tradition and isn’t actually used in daily life. Still, the emotional weight of such a change can’t be dismissed.
Importantly, there’s no rule that requires anyone to change their name after marriage. Love for your partner isn’t tied to adopting their surname, let alone changing your first name. A surname change is understandable for some, but altering one’s first name? That’s a more significant shift. Ultimately, the decision should rest with the individual. Names are deeply personal, and no one should feel pressured into giving up something so central to their identity.
Shakespeare might argue that a name doesn’t change who you are—“What’s in a name?” But for many of us, our name is a core part of our identity. Personally, I feel strongly about keeping mine. It’s a reflection of who I am, and I wouldn’t want it taken away. For me, my name is more than just a label—it’s a part of me.
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