“How many kids do you have?”
“For how long have you been married?”
“When are you going to give us the good news?”
“I do not know what karma we have done ”
“In the very first year of marriage, she had a child.”
Sony had to hear this time and again in her seven years of marriage.
Sony was happily married until she found out that she had PCOS and it was coming in her way of getting pregnant. That’s when her journey began wherein she had to face innumerable challenges that tapped her path. She did have her family and friends who supported her but sometimes they were hard on her and it made her feel that this was a lonely ride and she would have to travel with poise, positivity and faith.
Her work kept her busy and took her mind off all these worries at least for some time in the day. Suggested temple doors were knocked, exercises/ yoga, food/diet, tips everything was followed promptly. But then nothing seemed to work. Sony never gave up though…
Countless visits to hospitals, those treatments-pills, injections were draining her energy and making her hollow from within. A lot was spent on the treatments and none of it was fetching the desired outcome. Doctors advised her that her egg was of poor quality and that even if she conceived by luck, the child would be born: mentally or physically challenged. Hence the only option would be to go for a donor egg. It wasn’t just the physical pain but mentally she was crushed and yet she smiled and believed that one day she was going to be a mother.
Her dreams were fractured and she knew her husband whom she deeply loved was also hurt as he too had gone through a lot in the process. It made her feel that it was due to her, her husband wasn’t able to enjoy the bliss of fatherhood. There were arguments and fights but Sony stayed strong throughout for herself and the sake of her husband. All this was taking a toll on their relationship and also as individuals. Hence they decided that they would pause for a while.
After a few days, Sony was asked to try Homeopathy ( which dint help her much ) then came Ayurveda. She did agree and went ahead with that too. All this went on for another year. She wasn’t desperate but she was so worked up by every day trolling that all she could think of was about getting pregnant. Even if Sony tried to get it out of her mind, she was constantly reminded of it.
Finally, she had decided that she would take the help of a donor egg or go for adoption and discussed the same with her husband and both of them came to terms with it which eased her tension. As this discussion was going on, she had no inkling as to what marvel had already happened.
Sony’s periods were delayed ( nothing new for PCOS) and her doctor denied prescribing any hormonal pills without her testing for pregnancy. Sony thought that the results would turn out negative as usual and had decided to tell the doctor the next day ( without conducting the test) that it’s negative. Sony put a word to her friend about all this and her friend insisted on doing the test saying when she spends so much on other things ₹50 kits would not harm. She diligently followed what her friend told her and went ahead to do the home pregnancy test (HPT).
As she was about to throw the kit ( anticipating the result) Sony was astonished to see two bright pink lines. Sony couldn’t believe what she had just seen and felt as though she was on cloud nine. She wanted to jump high at the moment but thinking it might harm her unborn, she stopped herself.
Sony immediately went back to the same pharmacy and got all the different available brands as she wanted to re-confirm it was true. She tried some then and reserved a few for the next morning. The whole night she tossed in her bed waiting for dawn. All the tests had the same results -POSITIVE. She disclosed the news to her husband followed by family and friends. All were extremely happy for her.
Sony was told by her gynaecologist that she had nothing to fret about and all was going smoothly. She embarks on this nine months journey with a spark in her eyes and trusts that everything will be fine and imagines herself playing with her baby.
From the very beginning, Sony had visualised herself testing for a pregnancy at home, seeing the positive results, running to her husband and telling about it and how happy they both were. No matter what hurdles she went through, Sony had never stopped this creative visualisation. Day and night she had imagined this and the series of events played out exactly in that manner.
I am Sony. This is my story. I am a proud mother of a three-year-old girl who is fit as a fiddle. I feel very blessed to have her in my life. I couldn’t be happier. All the trauma I went through in this journey just doesn’t matter now. Something that seemed impossible became possible. Naturally. We are a happy family now.
To all the women out there who are sailing in a similar boat, don’t worry. This too shall pass. It is easier said than done – agreed, but don’t lose hope.
Husbands, kindly be supportive to your spouses They need it the most. Don’t be judgemental. Remember you too could land in her shoes and you wouldn’t like a harsh gesture. Marriage is not just about having kids. There is much more to it.
Family members -stop lambasting. Be a pillar of support to them. You have no idea what they are going through as you are seeing only the surface. Love, support and faith are all it takes in this entire process and in the end it’s all going to be fine.
Remember, you get what you believe in. Always walk with hope in your heart and you will never walk alone.