Shadow of mother holding her new born blog post of Akshata Shanbhag

A Half-Decade of Joy

Towards the end of November 2017, I received the life-changing news that I was pregnant after taking a urine pregnancy test (UPT). Having faced disappointment with negative results throughout my journey of trying to conceive, I was inclined to dismiss the test strip without a second thought. However, to my utter disbelief, I was greeted with the sight of two unmistakable pink lines, indicating a positive result. The rush of joy and excitement flooded over me, but I restrained myself from jumping in elation, fearing that any excessive jubilation might pose a risk to the well-being of the unborn baby.


(Please find the article about my journey towards motherhood by clicking the provided link. It encompasses the various challenges I faced and ultimately being blessed with a baby girl).


Overwhelmed with disbelief, I couldn’t fathom the reality of this miraculous moment. Doubts of hallucination clouded my mind, prompting me to call my friends and share the incredible news. Their elation mirrored my own. With bated breath, I patiently waited for my husband’s arrival, eager to witness the expressions on his face as I revealed the life-changing news to him.


Later, I excitedly shared the news with other members of my family. It happened to be a Sunday, and I couldn’t wait to have a confirmation through a scan. During the scan, the sonographer informed me that it was still too early to detect the baby’s heartbeat, and I would have to wait for another two weeks to get a definitive confirmation of the pregnancy. Taking no chances, I canceled a planned wedding trip with relatives and took two weeks off from work, prioritizing rest and avoiding any potential stress that could impact the pregnancy. Already experiencing back pain, I made the decision to stay at home and focus on taking care of myself until I received a positive confirmation of the pregnancy.


The two-week wait finally came to an end, and the doctor confirmed my pregnancy. I was experiencing morning sickness and back pain, making the commute to work challenging. Considering the circumstances, I made the decision to extend my leave. After my third-month scan, when the doctor assured me that everything was going well with the pregnancy, I felt a sense of relief. At that point, I made the difficult choice to resign from my job in order to prioritize my health and the well-being of my pregnancy.I am grateful for the support and understanding I received from my managers at work during this time. Making the decision to resign was not easy, but their support made it a little bit easier to navigate.


I had an incredible experience during my journey of pregnancy. It was a remarkable time filled with cravings for spicy food, enjoyable evening strolls, shopping for new clothes for both my baby and myself, a memorable baby shower, and the delightful pampering that came along with it. The entire process was truly great and brought me so much joy.


Throughout my pregnancy, I cherished the moments of holding my growing bump and communicating with my unborn baby. While societal biases and the expectations of others leaned towards having a baby boy, deep down, I secretly desired a baby girl. As the delivery date drew closer, a mixture of emotions enveloped me – anxiety, nervousness, and an overwhelming sense of anticipation to finally meet my little one. However, in the days leading up to the delivery, I experienced a peculiar feeling of not wanting to part with my unborn child. I longed for the baby to remain inside me, creating a sense of separation anxiety as our bond was so strong and intimate.


As I was being prepared for the C-section in the operation theatre, my heart was pounding with nervousness. I couldn’t help but recall a funny incident that occurred while I was lying on the bed. The anaesthetist administered an epidural and assured me that my lower body would become numb within a minute. However, to my surprise, I still felt sensations. From my vantage point, I could see my gynaecologist preparing himself and putting on gloves. This sight sparked a fear in me, as I worried that he would begin the surgery without confirming the numbness. I immediately voiced my concern to the anaesthetist, who reassured me and promised that they would double-check before starting the operation.


The doctor double-checked with me before starting the procedure, and I gave a nod of approval. Assuming it would take some time, I let myself relax and drift into my thoughts. Little did I know, the doctor had already delivered the baby. In the midst of my contemplations, I heard the doctor ask my husband whether it was a boy or a girl. Anticipation filled the air as I waited for his response. Then, the doctor joyfully announced that it was a baby girl. Overwhelmed with emotion, a tear escaped my eye, and the first word that came out for the baby was “princess.” They quickly wrapped her up and brought her to me. The indescribable joy I felt in that moment is etched in my memory, and it brings a smile to my face each time I recall it.


After my daughter’s birth, my entire world revolved around her. I experienced the joys of feeding and the challenges of sleepless nights, postpartum depression, and anxiety. However, during the first wave of the pandemic, our family tested positive for COVID-19 when my daughter had just turned two years old. It was an extremely difficult time for me as a mother because she was unable to express her discomfort in words, and all she did was cry. Her temperature spiked to 104 degrees, and I was consumed with worry. As a mother, even the smallest scratch or illness can cause panic. This was one of the most challenging experiences I’ve faced, and all I could do was hope and pray for her speedy recovery.


With the help of modern technology, I was able to capture and preserve many of my daughter’s precious “first time” moments. Whenever I receive reminders from Google Photos, it’s a joy to relive those beautiful memories. It’s incredible how quickly time passes, and now, in the blink of an eye, my daughter is turning five this July. The pain and challenges I faced on my journey to motherhood have been overshadowed by the immense love and happiness she brings into my life. Just a single look at my daughter’s radiant smile and a warm hug from her have the power to make all my worries fade away. Her presence alone brightens my day and fills my heart with immense joy.


I also have days of frustration and deal with my own personal issues, but I always strive to do my best and actively participate in my daughter’s day-to-day activities. Time flies by so quickly, and before we know it, our children will become independent individuals, and our opportunities to be deeply involved in their lives will be limited. That’s why I cherish this time and make the most of it.

ย Every parent has their own unique parenting style, and I want to assure you that you are doing a fantastic job as a parent. It’s natural to have ups and downs, but your love and dedication to your child shine through, and that makes a significant difference in their life. Keep up the great work!



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