Throughout my seven years of married life, I was consistently faced with inquiries such as, “You’ve been married for quite a while, and still no children?”
My marital journey was untroubled until the diagnosis of PCOS marked the beginning of a challenging path. Despite sporadic support, there were moments of solitude, and I leaned on grace and faith to carry me through.Work offered brief relief from my worries. I visited temples and offered prayers, exercised for fertility, adjusted my diet, and followed advice.Frequent visits to multiple doctors and medical facilities, coupled with the exhaustive regimen of pills and injections, not only depleted my energy but also left me with a sense of emptiness. Despite the substantial financial investment in these treatments, the desired results remained elusive.
Following multiple unsuccessful rounds of hormonal treatments, IUI, and IVF, the doctors informed me that my egg quality was subpar. They cautioned that even if I were to conceive by chance, the child might face mental or physical challenges. Consequently, the sole viable option was to pursue a donor egg.I was devastated upon hearing this news, but with my husband by my side in the doctor’s office, I concealed my anguish. It wasn’t just the physical pain; mentally, I felt utterly defeated.My dreams were shattered, and I was aware that my husband, who had endured his fair share of struggles throughout the process, was also deeply affected.It led me to believe that it was my fault that my husband couldn’t experience the joy of fatherhood. The strain on our relationship and our individual health became more evident. Consequently, we jointly decided to temporarily halt any further treatment efforts.But deep down,I always held onto the belief that one day I would become a mother.
A few weeks later, I was recommended to explore Homoeopathy (though it didn’t yield significant results) and subsequently, I turned to Ayurveda.I underwent these treatments to regulate my menstrual cycles and enhance my fertility.This cycle persisted for a year. My husband was disheartened because we had initially agreed to take a break, yet within a month, I resumed treatments.While I wasn’t desperate, the constant pressure and daily reminders about pregnancy had left me feeling overwhelmed. It seemed impossible to escape the thought, even when I tried to put it out of my mind.
After much thought, I discussed two options with my husband: using a donor egg (which I wasn’t entirely comfortable with but felt it was our only viable choice) or adoption. We both agreed on these choices, easing my anxiety. Unbeknownst to me, a remarkable event had already occurred during this conversation.
My already delayed menstrual cycle faced further delay.The doctor informed me that I couldn’t be prescribed hormonal pills to induce my period without first undergoing a pregnancy test. I initially assumed the test would yield the usual negative result and had already planned to inform the doctor the following day, without actually conducting the test.I shared my situation with a friend who insisted on a pregnancy test, given our expenses on treatments. Reluctantly, I followed her advice, taking a home pregnancy test. To my surprise, I saw two bright pink lines. I was ecstatic but refrained from jumping for joy, concerned for the unborn child’s safety.
I rushed back to the pharmacy, bought multiple pregnancy tests, and planned to take them in the morning. The anticipation kept me awake all night. At 5 am, I tested, and every one was positive. I woke my sleeping husband with the incredible news, then shared it with family and friends who were just as ecstatic.
Upon reviewing my test results and scan reports, my gynaecologist reassured me that there was no need to worry, and everything was progressing as expected.I quit my job to prioritise self-care. I embarked on this nine-month journey with a gleam of hope in my eyes, trusting that all would go well, and I envisioned myself playing, holding, and cuddling with my baby.
From the very start, I had painted a mental picture of myself conducting a home pregnancy test, witnessing the positive result, rushing to share the joyful news with my husband, and basking in our happiness together. Regardless of the challenges I faced along the way, I unwaveringly held onto this vivid visualisation. Day and night, I immersed myself in this scenario, and remarkably, the sequence of events unfolded exactly as I had imagined.
I take immense pride in being the mother of a thriving five-year-old girl. She is incredibly healthy, and I consider myself extremely fortunate to have her in my life. My happiness knows no bounds. Despite all the hardships I endured on this journey, they now pale in comparison. What once appeared impossible has become a natural reality, and we are now a blissful and content family.
You attract what you believe in. Keep hope in your heart as you journey, and you’ll never be alone along the way because “Miracles happen….”
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